Individual Coaching

One thing our multiple clients appreciate is not having to pretend that they're one person when in sessions with us. It's a truly plural-safe space to be themselves.

We help systems like yours get along better inside, which allows you to develop an amazing crew and helps you& foster a supportive internal community. Because you're all in this together.

Being a multiple is an amazing intergalactic adventure — and the treasure you're seeking is you.

Specialized Coaching for Multiples

Are you& having trouble with:

  • internal communication
  • finding your inner world
  • getting along inside
  • indecision, insecurity, feeling out of control
  • troublesome headmates
  • system kids fronting at awkward times
  • internal chaos interfering with work or school
  • factioning or wars in your inner world
  • intrusive thoughts, repetitive thoughts, misinterpreting external situations, meltdowns
  • insomnia, anxiety, due to racing or uncontrollable internal activity
  • managing energy or emotional regulation

Coaching can help manage sub-clinicial issues with:

  • Presence: getting in the Here & Now
  • Improving internal communication
  • Promoting coconsicousness
  • Trusting yourself and others in your system
  • Improving reality testing, intuition and instincts
  • Building self-awareness, self-control, self-esteem, empowerment
  • Working on internal relationships and internal community building
  • Lowering stress, emotional regulation, energy management
  • Time management and setting goals
  • Holding internal meetings
  • Negotiating system agreements

Working on forward-facing issues with an additional professional on your team can free up time in therapy for the hard work of healing your trauma. If you're not ready for therapy for any reason, working on internal relationships can help you discuss and decide whether or when you and your teammates are ready for therapy.

However, coaching is not therapy. You can check out this article for the differences.

You set the goals of your coaching relationship. Here are some common goals for multiples:

  • Facing internalized ableism
  • Improving your relationship with yourself and your headmates
  • Stress management — how to recognize stress and anxiety and transform it into mindfulness, grounding, and enjoyment
  • Building dreams, plans, goals, and passions in your shared life
  • Working on a plan to find more joy in your daily work and routines
  • Developing the energy to take charge of your life
  • Authentic living — living up to who you want to become, individually and as a group
  • And much more...

It all starts with an honest communication about where you're at and what you would like to achieve. It's ok if you don't know: the ability to make your own decisions and weigh options are coachable abilities. Or you can work on selves-help materials (see Kinhost.org) for a while before considering coaching again.

Intake Meeting (free)

We don't know each other, so how do we get to know each other better? We need to have a conversation. We give a free 30-minute coaching session without a sales pitch so that you& get a taste of coaching, and have more information to decide whether you& would like to work together in the future. There's no obligation, and we can work together in an anonymous platform if desired.

Please schedule a 30-minute session with me by using the scheduler below, calling for an appointment at 845-820-0262 (and leave a message if you don't get me) or using the email form on the Contact Criss page (or below the scheduler on this page).

During our actual appointment, we'll spend about 30 minutes total discussing your needs and how we can work together. You& are then free to go. We really hate high-pressure intake sessions with a sales pitch at the end. We won't do that, unless you decide y'all would like to hear more about how we could work together. We both have to decide whether it's a good fit for us, but you're in control of whether we even have that conversation. If you want to, we'll discuss whether we're a good fit and how often we should meet, and what the fee will be.

If you're not ready to have a conversation with us yet, you might be interested in reading an article. To learn more about our work on topics about multiplicity, DID/MPD or OSDD/DDNOS, please see kinhost.org, a vast selves-help wiki resource for multiples that we run and contribute to.

What are Individual Coaching Sessions like?

Session topics are typically client-led. We will ask "What would you like to get out of this session?" If you don't have a good handle on your particular needs or topics to address at the moment, we can have a conversation about where you are now and where you'd like to end up.

We can assist you through an individualized version of the United Front boot camp: it's a process for building internal community, working on group values, internal agreements, working out internal disputes, as well as normal life coaching activities with modifications to suit a group entity, such as working on your group's external life habits, dreams, goals desires, etc. as a group entity.

We understand that this might be the first time you're given complete control over a professional relationship, but we're also here to help you& learn how to take control of it and decide what needs to be worked on. It's our job to help you& take power and control over your& shared life.

Commitments and Compensation

The first session is a 30 minute free session so you can understand the value of coaching. Our intention is always to deliver amazing value for your free session, just like we always want to deliver amazing value for paid sessions.

After this session, we can (if and when y'all are ready) discuss your budget, get a feel for your future needs, and determine how often you would like coaching. So it's worth trying it out — it's 30 minutes that could change your life, even if we never meet again! It will be up to you to contact us or let us know if you wish to work together again.

There's never any obligation to work together. If we're not a good fit for each other, may be able to refer you to someone who may be a better fit for you.

Payment Arrangements

If we choose to work together, our agreed-on payment is due before the next session begins. Discounted pre-paid package rates are also available.

We operate on a sliding scale of $70-125 per hour (our $175/hour rate for professional consulting helps us cover scholarships & sliding scale discounts); please know what your budget is and be prepared to pay a fair rate for 2-5 sessions a month. We only want relationships that are mutually beneficial and fair to all participants.

Coaching appointments are 30 minutes to 2 hours depending on your needs, and meeting frequency is flexible as well. The minimum coaching we usually suggest is 30 minutes every 2 weeks. The other reason to have an initial 30 minute session is to get a real feel for how long 30 minutes is and what can be accomplished in that time.

Disability, potential barter arrangements

If you are on disability or out of work, 30 minute sessions keep the fees more reasonable ($35/session), but when that is too much still we could possibly work with barter or other arrangements. Our internal agreement is to accept barter for things either that directly free up our time, or that we would have paid money for. For example, we have tasks that can be done remotely that we can use assistance on — correcting machine transcripts of audio recordings for one example (that's a big time/energy bottleneck for us and would help us make more content accessible to others, and you get to listen to the content as well). We can discuss your budget and your ability or availability for barter arrangements if you are ready to negotiate to have an ongoing coaching relationship.

In-Person or Office Hours

We only offer remote sessions at this time.

Other Special Needs - Alternative communication modes

We are very flexible about working environments and methods. One of our best life coaches is non-verbal and prefers working in a text-driven medium, so when sessions are verbal she isn't the life coach who is fronting (she's giving advice and nudging front from the background).

So while we usually work by phone, Signal, Mumble (I have my own server), or Skype, we can also work with hearing impaired or non-verbal clients, and happily will make accommodations for others who need a variety of accommodations. We can work by text messages on SMS, Signal, Mumble, Skype, Discord, DM on Facebook or Twitter, etc.

We do not do video sessions at this time. Our system has a significant video camera trigger and it takes a toll in anxiety build-up that we need to process after any video recordings; the spoon cost is too much for us. In addition, our ASL (American Sign Language) fluency is not up to par for full ASL video sessions. If absolutely needed, we can make special arrangements to type and be on video (FaceTime, etc.) but we have to consider the additional cost it has for our system.

If you require asynchronous coaching, SMS, Signal, or email is available. Usually coaching is real-time, and hands-on, however. So this would be best if someone has issues precluding use of real-time communications (such as drastic time-zone differences, work schedules, frequent interruptions, lack of privacy, etc.).

If you require support between sessions beyond occasional emails (provided for free), please ask about between-session support. Coaching is never an emergency or urgent. We do not provide emergency services. This would be crossing a very clear boundary line between crisis therapy and coaching.

Please take advantage of the email form at the bottom of the page to ask questions.

Book a Free Intake Session

We cannot guarantee that we're a good fit for your needs. An intake coaching session is a professional courtesy to help both of us get to know each other. We are not salesy, we blatantly suck at marketing ourselves, and we really don't push anyone into purchasing coaching. We want to spend this half hour focused on giving you& value for your time and help you feel heard and comfortable. Every minute of our time together is precious, so please come on time, emailing us prior to the session with any background information is a good idea so that we are prepared for the topic of the session and already aware of your concerns. Be prepared to answer the question, "What would you like to get out of our session today?" or answer it in your email.

If you decide you would like to work with us and require scholarships, barter, accessibility or other special arrangements, please contact us for your intake and we can discuss your needs after the 30 minute coaching session.


Contact the Crisses

Potential clients can contact us with the form below, by phone, or text to schedule a 30-minute fully confidential sample session. During this appointment we determine what you are looking for, we deliver value and show you how we work, and hopefully we both get the information we need to determine whether we would like to pursue a coach-client relationship together.

Please feel free to call and leave a message. If you do not reach us, please keep in mind that we often work with clients by phone and please leave a message so we can get back to you.

845-820-0262 (Eastern Time/NY Time)

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