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<title>Liberated Life Coaching</title>
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<lastBuildDate>Fri, 26 Jan 2024 18:16:53 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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<title>SuperBetter Ideas</title>
<link>https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/SuperBetterIdeas</link>
<description><![CDATA[<p class='vspace'>SuperBetter is an app to encourage resiliency and help you track self-care, mental exercises, attitude changes, exercise, health, etc. — basically it's an app to help you protect and build your collection of <a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Articles/SpoonTheory'>spoons</a>.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Here's ideas we've taken from Passionizing™ materials to create fun custom Power-Ups, Bad Guys &amp; Quests in SuperBetter:
</p>
<p class='vspace'>(will detail asap)
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Power-Ups
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><ul><li>Choose Your Own Adventure
</li><li>Failing with Grace
</li><li>Breathe Deep &amp; Wiggle Your Toes
</li><li>Do What You Want &amp; Want What You Do
</li><li>Follow Your Why
</li><li>Superfood Burst
</li><li>Express Yourself: Writing
</li></ul><p class='vspace'>Bad Guys
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><ul><li>Evil Obligation Twins
</li><li>Sell Out Sally
</li></ul><p class='vspace'>Quests
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><ul><li>Mirror, Mirror
</li><li>Mental Meeting
</li><li>Building Trust
</li></ul><p class='vspace'><span class='archivelink'><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/BlogArchive/2018-04'>Other Posts in April 2018</a></span>
</p>
]]></description><dc:contributor>crisses</dc:contributor>
<dc:date>2024-01-26T18:16:53Z</dc:date>
<pubDate>Fri, 26 Jan 2024 18:16:53 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>The First Law of Multiple Systems</title>
<link>https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20180308-TheOneLaw</link>
<description><![CDATA[<p class='vspace'>I believe there is one immutable law for all multiple systems:  
</p>
<p class='vspace'><span style='font-size: 120%;'>We are <strong>all</strong> in this together.</span>
</p>
<p class='vspace'>This law doesn't care whether you fight and waste time with internal wars.  It is patient, and <em>always</em> present.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>You can struggle against it.  You can try to leave.  You can ignore your headmates — but this law will haunt you, resist you, and make you miserable.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>The only way to <strong>reclaim your power</strong> as a multiple is to act in accordance with The First Law.  That means you form an internal community.  You can decide what your community looks like — how it operates, and what your shared goals are.  But you are <strong>all</strong> in this together.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Whatever you do, your community must respect The First Law of Multiples.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Once you are "all in" — you can change how many of you there are, you can consolidate or merge (if that's something you were looking forward to).  But unless you are <strong>all</strong> in, you don't have that option.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Following The First Law will make things go smoother.  From there, you can support each other, better handle the difficulties of life as a group, you can tackle homework in therapy or school as a group, you can share your job, you can work together on shared dreams and goals.  You can find things you love to do together, and share your time for individuals to enjoy their hobbies.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>I help multiples obey The First Law and form an internal community — even after years of chaos, infighting, and war — so that they can get to actually living a shared life rather than fighting it.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Your life is an adventure — and the treasure you're seeking is <strong>you</strong>.
</p>
<p class='vspace'><span class='archivelink'><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/BlogArchive/2018-03'>Other Posts in March 2018</a></span>
</p>
]]></description><dc:contributor>crisses</dc:contributor>
<dc:date>2024-01-26T18:15:22Z</dc:date>
<pubDate>Fri, 26 Jan 2024 18:15:22 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Serenity Two Ways</title>
<link>https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20180301-Serenity</link>
<description><![CDATA[<p class='vspace'>Translated to modern English for ease of contemplation:
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><h2>Serenity (modernized from James Allen's <em>As a Man Thinketh</em> i.e. How an Adult Thinks)</h2>
<p>Tranquility of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Serenity's presence is an indication of mature experience and extraordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>You become calm to the degree that you understand yourself as a being evolved by thought, and the understanding of others as the result of their thoughts. As you develop a correct understanding, and see more and more clearly how you allow your internal relations and reactions to emotions due to the external actions of cause and effect, you can stop reacting, stop being anxious, angry, worrying and guilty, and remain balanced, firm, and serene.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>The calm person, having learned self-control, knows how to adapt to others; and others, in turn, revere your spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn from and trust you. The quieter a person becomes inside, the greater your success, your influence, your power for good. Even an ordinary business owner will find that their business prosperity increases as they develop greater self-control and equanimity, since people will always prefer to deal with a person whose behavior is very stable.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>The strong and calm person is always loved and revered. You are like a tree that gives shade in a thirsty land, or a sheltering cave in a storm. Who does not love a calm heart, a sweet-temper, or balanced life? It does not matter if it rains or shines, or what changes around you when you have these blessings, since you are always sweet, serene, and calm.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>That exquisite balance of character we call serenity is the last culture-developing lesson; it is the flowering of life, the fruiting of the soul. It is precious as wisdom, more desirable than gold — yes, even precious gold. How insignificant is the mere search for money in comparison with a serene life — a life that dwells in the ocean of Truth, under the waves, beyond the reach of storms, in the Eternal Calm!
</p>
<p class='vspace'>"How many people we know who waste their lives, who ruin everything that is sweet and beautiful with their explosive temper, who destroy their balance of character and make enemies! This is a question of whether the vast majority of people no longer ruin their lives and spoil their happiness for lack of self-control. How few people we find in life that are balanced, that have the exquisite grounding of the finished character! "
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Yes, people as a whole surge with uncontrolled passion, are tumultuous with uncontrolled pain, are shaken by anxiety and doubt. Only the wise adult, only the one whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and storms of the soul obey them.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Souls shaken by the storm, wherever you may be, under whatever conditions you may live, know this: in the ocean of life, the islands of Blessing smile, and the sunny shore of your ultimate incarnation awaits your arrival. Keep your hand firmly on the wheel of thought. In the cockpit of your soul reclines the Captain; it only sleeps; wake it up. Self-control is strength; Right thinking is capability; Calmness is power.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Say to your heart,
<br  /><strong>"Peace, be still!"</strong>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><hr />
<p>(original excerpt from <em>As a Man Thinketh</em> by James Allen, 1903)
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><h2>Serenity </h2>
<p>Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>A man becomes calm in the measure that he understands himself as a thought-evolved being, for such know- ledge necessitates the understanding of others as the result of thought. As he develops a right understanding, and sees more and more clearly the internal relations of things by the action of cause and effect, he ceases to fuss and fume and worry and grieve, and remains poised, steadfast, serene.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>The calm man, having learned how to govern himself, knows how to adapt himself to others; and they, in turn, reverence his spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of him and rely upon him. The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Even the ordinary trader will find his business prosperity increase as he develops a greater self- control and equanimity, for people will always prefer to deal with a man whose demeanor is strongly equable.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>The strong calm man is always loved and revered. He is like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm. Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those possessing these blessings, for they are always sweet, serene, and calm.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>That exquisite poise of character which we call serenity is the last lesson culture; it is the flowering of life, the fruitage of the soul. It is precious as wisdom, more to be desired than gold — yea, than even fine gold. How insignificant mere money-seeking looks in comparison with a serene life — a life that dwells in the ocean of Truth, beneath the waves, beyond the reach of tempests, in the Eternal Calm!
</p>
<p class='vspace'>"How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character, and make bad blood! It is a question whether the great majority of people do not ruin their lives and mar their happiness by lack of self-control. How few people we meet in life who are well- balanced, who have that exquisite poise which is characteristic of the finished character!"
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Yes, humanity surges with uncontrolled passion, is tumultuous with ungoverned grief, is blown about by anxiety and doubt. Only the wise man, only he whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Tempest-tossed souls, wherever ye may be, under what- soever conditions ye may live, know this — in the ocean of life the isles of Blessedness are smiling, and sunny shore of your ideal awaits your coming. Keep your hand firmly upon the helm of thought. In the bark of your soul reclines the commanding Master; He does but sleep; wake Him. Self-control is strength; Right Thought is mastery; Calmness is power.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Say unto your heart,
<br  /><strong>"Peace, be still!”</strong>
</p>
<p class='vspace'><span class='archivelink'><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/BlogArchive/2018-03'>Other Posts in March 2018</a></span>
</p>
]]></description><dc:contributor>crisses</dc:contributor>
<dc:date>2024-01-26T18:13:52Z</dc:date>
<pubDate>Fri, 26 Jan 2024 18:13:52 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Getting the Right Things Done</title>
<link>https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20140408-GettingTheRightThingsDone</link>
<description><![CDATA[<p class='vspace'>You have to love David Allen and <em>Getting Things Done</em> (GTD), right?  A philosophy that helps you narrow the list of things that you're looking at so you're (supposedly) only looking at the list of things that you're (supposedly) going to do.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Have you ever looked at the length of your To Do list and been put off simply by the sheer number of items on the list?  It saps the very will to <em>do</em> out of your life, right?  We all have so many "things to do" or as I call it our "Have To Do" lists.  Part of the problem is "how <em>did</em> so many <em>things</em> end up on our list in the first place?"
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Sometimes they're there because you thought they were important and never thought to check whether they were still important.  Let's call them "left-overs."  Ditch the left-overs.  Purge them from every level of your system.  But usually it's because people are so busy trying to understand the GTD as an organizational system that they overlook the subcontext -- the idea that you have to truly look at this list from the higher points of view of goals, values, etc. so that you remove everything "not worth doing" from the list.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Both David Allen and Stephen Covey (<em>7 Habits of Highly Effective People</em>) cover this top-down view -- with Covey doing a lot more work on the top-down, and most people only paying attention to Allen's bottom-up technical approach.  People love gadgets, they think this system is a quick fix -- that they won't have the hard work of actually thinking ABOUT what to do -- just show me what to do, I'll go do it.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>But no, as they pile up all these <em>things</em> &#8212; sans good <em>habits</em> &#8212; it becomes more and more difficult.  Overwhelming. And if you try to blend habits with things to do you can get a headache trying to make paper or tech tools work within the limitations of both systems.  Here's something to do <em>differently</em>:
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Change your "(Have) To Do" list into a "Want To Do" list -- and if you can't maybe these "things" you're trying to build "habits" to "get done" are going to go in the round bin.  Face it, there's only so many <em>things</em> we can try so hard <em>to do</em> and <em>get done</em>, no matter how many effective people's habits we try to incorporate into our lives.  You have to apply a new effective habit to the list of <em>things</em> to <em>get done</em>.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>You build a "Want To Do" list.  Follow your why.  WHY are you doing it?  The why is shorthand for saying "How SACRED is this to you?"
</p>
<p class='vspace'>SACRED is this acronym we came up with, and we're rather fond of. We created it specifically to battle the overwhelming burden of the SMART goal -- while still being SMART-compatible if you absolutely must insist -- it means:
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><dl><dt><strong>Satisfying</strong></dt><dd>Find a way to find a goal fulfilling -- this is an important part of your Why, and helps change "Have To"s into "Want To"s.  You can fake reasons as long as you actually can <em>feel</em> it.
</dd><dt><strong>Adventurous</strong></dt><dd>A in SMART is Achievable -- Otherwise, why bother?  But wait -- it's not that it always has to be achievable -- you can recognize a goal where the <em>process</em> is of value such as a goal to move towards "energy independence" -- maybe you consciously decide that it may not ever be 100% achievable but it's still a worthwhile <em>journey</em> to try -- it's an adventure, not a destination.  Not all worthy goals are deadline-compatible.  To keep these types of goals SMART, pick shorter-term mileposts and deadlines to measure against, but really try to keep your eye on the prize and keep the passion, don't beat yourself up about missing a milepost or deadline.
</dd><dt><strong>Creative</strong></dt><dd>Brainstorm new ways to achieve the goal: game, music, songs, dance, play... Why do it the same old way?  Try to shake it up and make it yours.
</dd><dt><strong>Rewarding</strong></dt><dd>When the goal itself is rewarding, then you spend less energy fighting it.  If you put the end reward into the "To Do" it's more likely you'll get it done!
</dd><dt><strong>Exciting</strong></dt><dd>Ever have a goal that woke you up every morning and you couldn't wait to get out of bed and get back to working on it?  That's what you're looking for.  Something that wraps you so tightly in its presence in your life that you forgot to have your coffee in the morning.
</dd><dt><strong>Driving</strong></dt><dd>Not draining.  It should have its own power.  Shouldn't every goal have so much pull that it drags you in -- willingly?
</dd></dl><p class='vspace'>Not all goals are 100% SACRED, but it's a much better direction to aim in than simply aiming for something being SMART.  Fancy if a goal were both?
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><h2>How do we make a goal or project SACRED?</h2>
<p>Although oversimplified, the quickest way is to start to change your goal from using obligation language to using passion/desire language. There's more you can do — but this can immediately lighten the burden.
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div>
<table ><tr><td  valign='top'>
<h3>Obligation words:</h3>
<ul><li>must
</li><li>should
</li><li>have to
</li><li>need
</li><li>have got to (gotta)
</li></ul></td><td  valign='top'>
<h3>Passion words:</h3>
<ul><li>want
</li><li>desire
</li><li>love to
</li><li>like to
</li><li>looking forward to
</li></ul></td></tr></table>
<p class='vspace'>So you might have a project of "Finish son's science fair project" (whether or not it's written into any system; it may be in your head) and a To Do list task of "buy project board" scheduled for Thursday afternoon (again, whether mental or on a list) with a context of @errands or @Staples.  There's hidden words in here of "I have to".  This is our norm in society. The "to do" list is really the "have to do" list. The obligation is understood. And it's not exciting at all.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>How can we tell it's the hidden word on the list pad? If you add "Have" in front of "To Do" it doesn't really change anything.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>So instead, write the word Want in front of To Do on a list pad.  Or in a notebook, bullet journal, etc.  "Want To Do". Now how do you feel about this list?
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Taking the project example above, let's rewrite the project whether in our head or on paper. 
</p>
<p class='vspace'><strong>Project</strong> (I want to…) help my son complete his science fair project.<strong>Tasks</strong> (I want to…) buy the project board Thursday.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>For us, this is less of a burden. How about you? Now, we have particular baggage with "wanting" things, and if that word is a turn-off or trigger, find another. For example, you could have a "would like to do list". You've probably been procrastinating the items anyway, so why lie to yourself that you must do them when the fact is you'd like to do them, and it may well be beneficial.
</p>
<p class='vspace'><strong>Project</strong> (I want to…) help my son complete science fair project for a memorable experience. <strong>Tasks</strong> (I want to…) buy the project board Thursday so we have it to work on over the weekend.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>So first ask if you should even consider having something on a list in the first place, then try to make it so powerful it has a life of its own.  You might have to massage it, reword it, remind yourself of what the real effect of all those droll boring tasks is going to be.  The whole reason GTD has you group tasks under projects under goals is so that you don't lose sight of the SACREDness of the actions (Value: Family -&gt; Goal: Build Lasting Memories with Son -&gt; Project: Help son with science fair project -&gt; task: buy project board by Thursday.) -- but not enough stress is placed on keeping the fire and passion in the list.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>There's so much time and energy spent on HOW to list, how to shuffle papers between folders or tagging items in a to-do system, that we lose sight of the Getting the Right Things Done and bogged down in the energy-draining details of how to track the items over <strong>how to make sure they are worthy of being tracked in the first place.</strong>
</p>
<p class='vspace'>How does it feel if you change your To Do list into a Want To Do list?
</p>
<p class='vspace'><span class='archivelink'><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/BlogArchive/2014-04'>Other Posts in April 2014</a></span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div>
]]></description><dc:contributor>crisses</dc:contributor>
<dc:date>2021-01-10T22:46:18Z</dc:date>
<pubDate>Sun, 10 Jan 2021 22:46:18 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Giving to Love versus Giving to Get</title>
<link>https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20140325-GivingToLoveVersusGivingToGet</link>
<description><![CDATA[<p class='vspace'>Why do we give?  Giving has been identified as one of the habits that has been “proven” to make you happier.  When people self-rate how much they give, they rate it pretty highly on a scale of 1-10 (7.41 i.e. people on average rate that they are about 75% giving).
</p>
<p class='vspace'>But then why aren’t people happier?  I would like to suggest that people don’t always understand what it truly means to give.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>We have many different types of giving in our lives.  There’s the person who gives in spite of a lack of gratitude from the recipient, gives until they’re drained of everything then tries to squeeze out more giving.  They give to an abusive spouse or husband, trying to keep the peace, trying to put a bandage on a bigger problem.  This giving is founded on fear.  New studies show a response to fear, common in some women, called "Tend &amp; Befriend" which causes women to attempt to placate strong (often abusive) members of their "tribe" by attempting to befriend them while tending to their children.  The primordial logic is if the strong angry man likes you, he can be strong and angry at your enemies, thus protecting you and your children.  This instinctual giving in the face of abuse blocks happiness because these circumstances are miserable and because there’s never an exchange involved.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>So what about turning this give-until-there's-nothing-left born of fear on its head:  a more aggressive &amp; defensive form of giving where one demands something in return for the giving investment?  When the pendulum swings in the other direction, when giving has strings attached, it increases anticipation and a sense of waiting for something to happen.  When you live in the imaginary future it leads to anxiety, unfulfilled needs become disappointment, and a potential for a retribution backlash against the receiver builds up the longer the gifts go unreciprocated.  The giver has created a trap of waiting for the gift to come back to them in some form.  In some ways, this is more a form of bribery than giving: I did this “for you”, why didn’t you do something back?  It is lacking in unconditional generosity; it has a price tag.  The price tag is the giver’s freedom to go on living and feeling; the giver traps themselves.  This type of fishing for return gifts leaves the giver invested in a potential future outcome; full and complete happiness waits for the fulfillment of this possibly unspoken obligation.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>True happiness from giving only comes when giving is unconditional, and when it is passion-based.  When the gift truly comes from the heart with no strings of hoping it will end the abuse and "buy" the receiver to your own side, or expectation that it will return to you in the form of reciprocation.  Happiness in giving comes from the truly open heart.   When we initiate the act of giving detached from receiving any external benefits, it is truly most beneficial to the giver.  It’s a form of unconditional love, and doing so grants the giver freedom to go on living and feeling, and if it is done with full emotion and intention it comes paired with euphoric feelings from oxytocin and endorphins that come with love and passion.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>This passion-based giver isn’t giving to keep the peace or buy protection — they already have peace inside themselves and are detached from the reactions of others to affect how they feel about themselves.  They're protected by their own actions and assertions, and can see more clearly when a situation has become so hurtful that they must exit with compassion.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>How can you become a passion-based giver?  Unchain yourself from conditions on your happiness.  When you are grateful for what you have, and grateful for what you receive, you can remain happy simply in the act of giving and in the Faith that you have seeded the world with more kindness.  Somehow it may come back around to you through some circuitous path, so it is always best to give so often that you stop keeping a tally.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Do you give too much?  Do you have many expectations chaining you to external outcomes?  What are you waiting for, or expecting to get in return?
</p>
<p class='vspace'><span class='archivelink'><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/BlogArchive/2014-03'>Other Posts in March 2014</a></span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='category' ><a class='categorylink' rel='tag' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Category/Love'> Love</a> | <a class='categorylink' rel='tag' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Category/Giving'> Giving</a> | <a class='categorylink' rel='tag' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Category/Gratitude'> Gratitude</a>
</div>
]]></description><dc:contributor>crisses</dc:contributor>
<dc:date>2018-02-20T12:41:21Z</dc:date>
<pubDate>Tue, 20 Feb 2018 12:41:21 GMT</pubDate>
<category> Love</category>
<category> Giving</category>
<category> Gratitude</category>
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<title>Get Pumped - a letter to myself</title>
<link>https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20151230-GetPumped</link>
<description><![CDATA[<div class='vspace'></div><div class='img'><span class='rfloat'><img width='300px' src='/pmwiki/uploads/Blog/LetterToMyself.jpg' alt='' />:"Sometimes you have to talk to yourself."</span></div>
<p class='vspace'>We all face those moments where we're not quite <em>right</em>.  A bad day, anxious, depressed, down in the dumps, overwhelmed, out of focus, sick, sick and tired, or whatever.  So on a day when you're feeling great, it's good to leave yourself some tips on what inspires you, why you're feeling great, and give your-future-self some helpful words of advice.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>So the first thing that the Passionizing&#8482; Planner asks you to do is write a letter to yourself.  After reading the What is Passionizing&#8482;? note, my hope is that you're inspired and ready to tell future-you something helpful.  Here's what I wrote, and note I was so excited to have just received my new planner!
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'>Dear Criss,
<div class='vspace'></div></div><div class='indent'>This is your passion!  Putting books out there and helping other people do the same.  The feeling of your new book in your hands, having already loved it and coddled it for a while &amp; looking forward to meeting it in person.  That final push to JUST DO IT! and get it out there... the rush of oxytocin when you're holding it in your hands for the first time &amp; lovingly caressing it and counting the pages...
<div class='vspace'></div></div><div class='indent'>This is what you were born to do!
<div class='vspace'></div></div><div class='indent'>Go forth and birth those beautiful brainchildren &amp; help bring that joy to the world!
<div class='vspace'></div></div><div class='indent'>Love always,<br />Criss
</div><p class='vspace'>I've just realized very recently that almost all my skills and experiences have pointed me towards not only writing my own books (that was clear) but helping other people write and publish their books.  That was less clear until my first customer published and we were able to hold her book and look at it, and count the pages, and watching her sign her books, and helping her market her book to the world.  This is definitely a gift and dream, to find that balance between almost all my skills and talents where what I'm doing for a client is always changing because birthing books is a process and always different for every person.  So there's nothing to fall into a rut over, nothing to get bored of.  And it uses all the sections of my brain.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>I'm in love with falling in love with my passion. LOL
</p>
<p class='vspace'>I hope this helps inspire you to write your own letter to yourself.  What do you need to hear, what do you need to remind yourself of?  Write it in your planner.
</p>
<p class='vspace'><span class='archivelink'><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/BlogArchive/2015-12'>Other Posts in December 2015</a></span>
</p>
]]></description><dc:contributor>crisses</dc:contributor>
<dc:date>2017-10-21T13:55:32Z</dc:date>
<pubDate>Sat, 21 Oct 2017 13:55:32 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Passionizing&#8482; Blog</title>
<link>https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/Blog</link>
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<h3><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/SuperBetterIdeas'>SuperBetter Ideas</a></h3>
<p><span  style='color: gray;'>April 06, 2026</span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'>We had created our own challenges and features within SuperBetter before the app was changed more recently -- so this article is now irrelevant. <small><em><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/SuperBetterIdeas'>(read more...)</a></em></small>
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<h3><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20180308-TheOneLaw'>The First Law of Multiple Systems</a></h3>
<p><span  style='color: gray;'>March 08, 2018</span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'>We've identified 5 basic laws or principles that work across all multiple/plural systems. In this article we dive into the first. <small><em><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20180308-TheOneLaw'>(read more...)</a></em></small>
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<h3><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20180301-Serenity'>Serenity Two Ways</a></h3>
<p><span  style='color: gray;'>March 01, 2018</span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'>We compare our modernized translation of "Serenity" from James Allen's <em>As a Man Thinketh</em> with the original. <small><em><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20180301-Serenity'>(read more...)</a></em></small>
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<h3><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20151230-TheHiddenBenefitOfPlanning'>The Hidden Benefit Of Planning: Becoming Immortal</a></h3>
<p><span  style='color: gray;'>December 30, 2015</span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='img'><span class='frame rfloat'><img width='350px' src='/pmwiki/uploads/Blog/Passionizing_BecomingImmortal.jpg' alt='' /> </span></div>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'>Why plan?  And why use a planner?  I think it's actually one of the hidden keys to immortality.  Well, a type of immortality anyway. Curious?  Read on... <small><em><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20151230-TheHiddenBenefitOfPlanning'>(read more...)</a></em></small>
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<h3><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20151230-GetPumped'>Get Pumped - a letter to myself</a></h3>
<p><span  style='color: gray;'>December 30, 2015</span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='img imgonly'><span class='rfloat'><img width='300px' src='/pmwiki/uploads/Blog/LetterToMyself.jpg' alt='' /></span></div>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'>The first thing the Passionizing&#8482; Planner asks you to do is Get Pumped and write yourself a letter to help inspire you.  I'm talking about that feature of the planner and sharing my own letter to myself so you can get psyched to plan out your year's journey. <small><em><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20151230-GetPumped'>(read more...)</a></em></small>
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<h3><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20151229-YearlyPlanner'>Yearly Planner</a></h3>
<p><span  style='color: gray;'>December 29, 2015</span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'>As a new year rolls in, you too will need a way to organize your thoughts, plot out your goals, assess your life, and stay on track.  Enter the Passionizing&#8482; Planner. <small><em><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20151229-YearlyPlanner'>(read more...)</a></em></small>
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<h3><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20140408-GettingTheRightThingsDone'>Getting the Right Things Done</a></h3>
<p><span  style='color: gray;'>April 08, 2014</span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'>Or "How to put the passion and fire back into your To Do list so that it becomes an 'I Can't Wait To Do' list instead." <small><em><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20140408-GettingTheRightThingsDone'>(read more...)</a></em></small>
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<h3><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20140325-GivingToLoveVersusGivingToGet'>Giving to Love versus Giving to Get</a></h3>
<p><span  style='color: gray;'>March 25, 2014</span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'>Why do we give?  There are 3 types of giving, and only one comes truly from the heart and increases our happiness and lowers our anxiety.  Pay it forward by learning how to truly give unconditionally. <small><em><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20140325-GivingToLoveVersusGivingToGet'>(read more...)</a></em></small>
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<h3><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20140203-PlayingToHealth'>Playing to Heal(th)</a></h3>
<p><span  style='color: gray;'>February 03, 2014</span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'>Have you heard anyone say "Games are a waste of time?"  Capture the power, puzzling, and passion of playing games and apply them to your life by becoming a superhero with me. <small><em><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20140203-PlayingToHealth'>(read more...)</a></em></small>
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<h3><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20140131-Intentions101'>Programming Intentions 101</a></h3>
<p><span  style='color: gray;'>January 31, 2014</span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'>We all do this: we have a broad idea of something we want to do, and we set a vague intention to do something about it.  However, when we're living life on autopilot, the times for these vague intentions come and go without us even taking notice.  With the power of Intention and a specific method for programming intentions, you can make changes today. <small><em><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20140131-Intentions101'>(read more...)</a></em></small>
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]]></description><dc:contributor>crisses</dc:contributor>
<dc:date>2017-08-24T02:24:37Z</dc:date>
<pubDate>Thu, 24 Aug 2017 02:24:37 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>The Hidden Benefit Of Planning: Becoming Immortal</title>
<link>https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20151230-TheHiddenBenefitOfPlanning</link>
<description><![CDATA[<div class='vspace'></div><div class='img imgonly'><span class='frame rfloat'><img width='350px' src='/pmwiki/uploads/Blog/Passionizing_BecomingImmortal.jpg' alt='' /></span></div>
<p class='vspace'>Ever since my great big Burnout of 2010, I've been practicing mindfulness and slowing down the passage of time.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Don't believe the "Time Waits for No Man" rhetoric.  Time on a clock is one thing -- time in our minds is something completely different.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>What's the most memorable happy moment of your life.  Pick something you can remember in exquisite detail.  How was time passing for you?  How about this moment.  Right now.  How are you experiencing this moment as it passes?
</p>
<p class='vspace'>When I wrote <em>SURRENDER&#8482; to Passion</em> in 2010 it was a real wake-up call for me.  I was telling myself stories about how burdened I was, and I believed it.  I was not honoring myself as an introvert and spent 4 and a half years running around to a wide variety of events, making myself shake hands and take business cards and talk to strangers.  And it didn't make me uncomfortable in a bad way at all -- I'm not shy.  But it utterly and completely exhausted me.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>For me to do anything at all diligently for 4.5 yrs is an achievement. Seriously.  It's not in my nature.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>But the crash and burn taught me one of the most important lessons of life.  I thought I had already known it, but it's pretty simple on the surface:
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><h4>Every moment is precious.</h4>
<p>And I'm not kidding about this.  This is a pretty deep statement, one we nod and go "yeah, yeah..." to.  But let's break it down.  In my book <em>SURRENDER&#8482; to Passion</em>, I tried to get this point across -- and I'm not sure I emphasized it enough.  <strong>Slow down</strong>.  And that's a statement that also doesn't make sense unless you suddenly get it.
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><h4>Time is passing right before your eyes.  Are you paying attention?</h4>
<p>In the 5.5 years since I published <em>SURRENDER&#8482; to Passion</em>, I have been practicing mindfulness.  I have to say the last 2 years of that have been very rough for me -- tumultuous changes at home.  So for 3 years solid, I cherished and paid attention to every. single. passing. minute.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Like a monk.  I was practicing what I preached in my book.  Breathing.  Wiggling my toes.  Getting back into my body -- no mean feat for someone diagnosed with a severe dissociative disorder.  Paying attention to what was going on around me.  Looking at the highway while I was driving, feeling my hands on the steering wheel, watching the cars around me shifting lanes and sleepily drift into the shoulder, looking for hawks in the trees as I drove past groves of forest, watching my chickens, feeling my body, and looking at every moment of every day intensely as it happened.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>So when the proverbial poop hit the propeller and my home life started falling apart, I was deeply engrossed in this habit.  Steven Covey's moment between action &amp; reaction -- that Proactive moment -- when you practice mindfulness it feels like forever.  I had the wherewithal to CHOOSE my reactions, to take every single instant as it came.
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><h4>It's like living life in slow motion.</h4>
<p>If you hate your life, this isn't for you.  You are not fit for eternal moments in a job you hate, in a home situation that is shutting you down and painful.  You have to really love every moment of your life to spend this present moment of eternity wedded to it.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>The poop hit the propeller and I watched the house of cards as it collapsed, every single card, one at a time, in exquisite detail.  And somehow managed to keep my cool and maintain my self-respect in the middle of it.  I even stopped grinding time to this level of detail -- I wasn't as in love with my life, so why do it -- and time still grinds on with aching intricate detail.  I had gotten it.  I had reprogrammed my brain and body, and at least for the last 2 years or so I haven't gotten back that rushing off ignoring every day, days blending into each other, where did the time go? problem.  I feel every minute of the day.  By way of habit.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>I don't pretend it's a permanent habit, so I need to get back into the swing of things.  Renewing my purpose, making sure I'm on-track, continue to practice mindfulness and zenness.  Because while things didn't turn out as I planned, I enormously enjoyed cherishing every moment of those years passing.  It was so slow.  I watched my children growing up -- now 18 and 20 years old -- with the precision of stop-motion-photography of a hummingbird in flight.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>That, my dear reader, is immortality. As close to it as I need to get.  When moments feel like minutes, and minutes like hours, and days like weeks, and months like years -- what more can you ask for?
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><h4>And the wrong way to do it....</h4>
<p>I had experienced this zen quality once before, naturally without instruction.  It was 2 months that felt like 2 years back in 1986.  Time passed achingly slow.  Every moment stretched to the horizon.  I was both falling in love and falling into the most uncomfortable place I had ever known at the same time -- and it was down the rabbit hole into a cycle of absolute clinical insanity.  Oxymoronic, eh?  I had found immortality and insanity at the same exact time.  So the exquisite agony of my anxiety, the darkest depths of despair, the chill of paranoia and fear -- all stretched out and made larger than life by this slowed passage of time.  
</p>
<p class='vspace'>If you're going to find zen, do the right thing with it.  Use the extra moments to get yourself as healthy as possible.  Find a happy healthy place to practice your immortality in, because this unhappy strange twisted world I found back then is one no one should visit, and it ended in my suicide attempt and the loss of my love, and like my 3 years of happy zen, the echoes of time passing so slowly continued for 9 more months (or more) while I was in the mental hospital.
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><h4>How does a planner work into this picture?</h4>
<p>A planner reminds us to slow down and pay attention to the passage of time.  It helps us build good habits, to see the things we can be happy and satisfied with in our life, and to actively change the things that we're not thrilled with.  It's not enough to be aware of every moment -- but to choose that moment and make the absolute best of it.  What I experienced in 1986 was a nightmare and no one should go there.  Being so exquisitely aware of the wrong things, of making bad choices, of choosing to feel lousy, of being a victim of fear chemicals running through my veins -- was singularly devastating to the point of not just wanting to, but seriously attempting to die and the loss of the person most dear to me.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>When we combine making good choices, feeling our love and passion, banishing fear, and planning ahead with feeling every moment so exquisitely, even the bad things that happen to us aren't as devastating, and we know that we will have another choice to make in just one moment and we can make better choices.  It's almost like having a do-over episode without the time travel.  You can correct the bad word choice before you even say it in the first place, you can react to an emergency situation with all your thought processes at your disposal, you can spend your time so wisely that you have no regrets for your choices.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>This is all up to you.  To plan or not to plan.  I choose to plan.
</p>
<p class='vspace'><span class='archivelink'><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/BlogArchive/2015-12'>Other Posts in December 2015</a></span>
</p>
]]></description><dc:date>2016-08-23T15:40:26Z</dc:date>
<pubDate>Tue, 23 Aug 2016 15:40:26 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Yearly Planner</title>
<link>https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20151229-YearlyPlanner</link>
<description><![CDATA[<p class='vspace'>My newest brainchild was delivered today!  I am so super-excited.  I have a theme for 2016 of "Create" and as part of that I've been thinking about "repurposing" a lot.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>I had all kinds of coaching tools, some from other people, some of my own.  I had created the 360-degree Life Assessment&#8482; in 2009 or so, based off the popular idea of using a life wheel assessment in coaching.  And I thought the wheels that had 8 areas in them were painting the complexities of life with too wide a brush.  I rearranged the idea, reworked it, and came up with 8 major areas and 36 areas in total to rate on a 1-10 scale.  36 x 10 = 360, a circle has 360-degrees.  How geekily convenient.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>I pulled it out to start my work towards 2016.  And then I hit another wall of frustration. I wanted to refer back to old ones I'd done, but I'm not even sure where I put them.  Not even motivated to look.  That's when the idea of the <em>Passionizing&#8482; Planner</em> was born.  Otherwise I'd have done this months ago.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>I had created a planner/scheduler way back in 1999 or so.  It was wrapped tightly around the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  Roles, goals, etc.  That's not incorporated into this planner -- yet.  I'll be making a new version, and tweaking and upgrading it.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>I also decided not to put dates into the planner -- so you could start at any time.  Celebrate the Chinese New Year -- terrific, start your planner on February 8th, 2016.  How about Ramadan?  Start June 7th, 2016.  Since I'm pagan, I'm painfully aware that the Julian calendar has taken over much of the materials available to us. I'm behind the 8-ball, my New Year was the evening of October 31st/November 1st.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Passionizing&#8482; should be universal.  It's agnostic and revolves around celebrations of the spirit, not of where one lives or the time on the clock.  Every religion encourages the spiritual practice of Passionizing&#8482; in some way.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>There's so much thought that went on in the background of creating this planner.  <a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Main/Books'>Read more about what it contains.</a>
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Goals for future versions:
</p><ul><li>considering whether to do role/mission/vision/goal work in the book...
</li><li>affirmations &amp; quotes
</li><li>page numbers - optional on the planner pages, I wanted to reserve space for writing in the margins and for the temperature gauges.  But might be helpful to have for the rest.
</li><li>same with a table of contents. I wanted the book to be useful pages, but in retrospect people might want to find instructions easier.
</li><li>&amp; more when I get your feedback.
</li></ul><p class='vspace'>The Planner is available in the <a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Main/Books'>Books</a> tab of the website, and <a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Main/Coaches'>Coaches</a> are welcome to get a preview PDF copy they can print out or look over to see whether it would be of use to them and their clients.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>I'm so excited, I just want to keep playing with it. :)
</p>
<p class='vspace'><span class='archivelink'><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/BlogArchive/2015-12'>Other Posts in December 2015</a></span>
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]]></description><dc:date>2015-12-30T21:07:10Z</dc:date>
<pubDate>Wed, 30 Dec 2015 21:07:10 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Playing to Heal(th)</title>
<link>https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20140203-PlayingToHealth</link>
<description><![CDATA[<p class='vspace'>Did you ever lose yourself in playing a game?  You can spend hours or days mastering a game, lost in a mental wonderland.  Games give immediate feedback, a feeling of power and control over your environment, a sense of either collaboration or competition, the mental gymnastics of puzzle-solving, and so on.  It's so easy to get caught up, almost all of us have at some point in our lives, whether it was a computer game, sports, gambling, board games, solitaire, capture the flag, hopscotch, or marbles.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>And then perhaps you eventually realized that the game wasn't life, and you stopped playing -- or you're caught up in a game right now and you feel pressured to stop.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>First, let me urge you <em>strongly</em> to <a class='external' href='http://www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal_the_game_that_can_give_you_10_extra_years_of_life.html' target='_blank' rel='nofollow,noreferrer'\>watch a spectacular and moving TED talk by Jane McGonigal</a>.  Perhaps you've seen her before.  She's the brilliant and inspiring game designer who swears that games are <strong>not</strong> a waste of time.  In fact, a game saved her life.  I'll let her tell her story, because I can't pretend to out-do her.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>So, I want you to step back from your life for just one moment and say:  What if the game 'is' life?  What if you did what Jane did:  pictured yourself as a superhero, had a secret identity, a hideout, a sidekick, a butler to keep your car shiny and your gadget belt loaded?  It doesn't matter whether these things are real or fictional because it gets results!  Challenges during the day become villains, healthy options become power-ups (like Popeye's can of spinach!), and as you get smarter, more productive, healthier and more mentally agile you're leveling up your personal superhero character.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Enter Jane's wacky self-help game <a class='external' href='http://superbetter.com' target='_blank' rel='nofollow,noreferrer'\>SuperBetter</a>!
</p>
<p class='vspace'>Sign up and you can track your secret identity, make allies in your fight against bad guys, and choose from pre-made scenarios that are common obstacles to a superhero's well-being.  You can choose eating better, strengthening your mind (the original purpose of the game), mindfulness techniques, exercise, stress reduction, and much more.
</p>
<p class='vspace'>If you don't like the scenario's pre-made villains and power-ups that you can add to your game, you can make up your own.  Let me share some of mine:
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'>I created a quest to remind me to do <a class='external' href='http://www.lumosity.com/' target='_blank' rel='nofollow,noreferrer'\>Lumosity</a> called <strong>Lumosity Brainfood</strong>.
<div class='vspace'></div></div><div class='indent'>I created a <strong>Breathe Deep &amp; Wiggle Your Toes</strong> power-up.  (That should remind you of the <a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Blog/20140130-CrashCourseInMindfulness'>Crash Course In Mindfulness</a> post on this blog!)
<div class='vspace'></div></div><div class='indent'>One of the stressors I wrote about in my book <a class='external' href='http://surrendertopassion.com/' target='_blank' rel='nofollow,noreferrer'\>SURRENDER&#8482; to Passion</a> is a mindset of obligations.  By adding the <strong>Evil Obligation Twins</strong> bad guys to SuperBetter, I was able to remind myself to change my perception.  This one's so cool, I'll share the description:
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='indent'><em>When I'm doing things I want to do, I'm always confronted by the Evil Obligation Twins: Need To Do &amp; Should Do.  They paint all my tasks in the colors of Need &amp; Should!!  Then tasks seem huge, overwhelming, undesirable, complicated and pointless.  It makes it hard for me to see why there are all these things to do in the first place, and it sucks away my power and passion.  I know how to defeat these twins!  I have to take out my Wanna Glasses and then I can see all of these activities for what they REALLY ARE:  things I really want to do.  If they aren't things I really want to do, I can then smite these things off my task list with my Delegate-Delete Gun!</em>
</div></div><p class='vspace'>I hope that helps you see how powerful it is simply to change your mind and make life a little more fun and adventurous.  <a class='external' href='http://www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal_the_game_that_can_give_you_10_extra_years_of_life.html' target='_blank' rel='nofollow,noreferrer'\>Check out the TED talk</a> and if you choose to use <a class='external' href='http://SuperBetter.com' target='_blank' rel='nofollow,noreferrer'\>SuperBetter.com</a> as your superhero tracking software, maybe we can be allies!  Leave me a comment if you want to Play to our Health!  Say you want to be my ally, and I'll invite you to ally from my game.
</p>
<p class='vspace'><span class='archivelink'><a class='wikilink' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/BlogArchive/2014-02'>Other Posts in February 2014</a></span>
</p>
<div class='vspace'></div><div class='category' ><a class='categorylink' rel='tag' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Category/Games'> Games</a> | <a class='categorylink' rel='tag' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Category/Health'> Health</a> | <a class='categorylink' rel='tag' href='https://liberatedlifecoaching.com/Category/Mindfulness'> Mindfulness</a>
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]]></description><dc:date>2014-02-04T04:13:43Z</dc:date>
<pubDate>Tue, 04 Feb 2014 04:13:43 GMT</pubDate>
<category> Games</category>
<category> Health</category>
<category> Mindfulness</category>
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